Creamy Coffee...

Areet,

Heres t'crack...weve got a new lass wukkin in our practice (ugly), so me boss, whos a bit like David Brent off tht show the 'Office'...thought it wer hilarious to wind me up in front of her...ahhh...such fun n games(!)

I walk in to work 'alf an hour late...

Boss: Ey up lad...good afternoon(!)
Plops: Heh heh...gud mornin...areet?
Boss: No, not 'areet' me laddo, youve been turnin up late by t'day...what the 'ells goin on?...
Plops: ..well...erm...chyeah...well...t'bus wer late n...t'train...points failure...erm...
Boss: Never mind t'friggin bus lad!...dnt b mekkin useless excuses, just cos u cnt get yer arse out o bed early!...:madface:...
Plops: :blank expression:
Boss: Well dnt just stand there as if uve got summat stuck up yer backside!...What u gna do about it?...:redface:
Plops: erm...get an earlier train?...:look:...
Boss: too fookin right lad...n iv 'ad a word wi' t'regional (manager)...if yer dont book yer ideas up...ull be out of 'ere...i wnt propa grafters in me team...each man playin their part...
(he coaches a crappy sunday league footy team)
Plops: :ashamed:
Boss: Now get yer arse upstairs...theres ppl waitin fer yer...
Plops: *turns around...trudges upstairs*
*sniggering downstairs*
Plops: B******d.

Later on...

Plops: 'ere u go...never say i dnt do 'owt fer yer...
Boss: Wow...the lazy sod meks us all coffees...tryna worm his way bck into us good books(!)...
Plops: heh heh...yeah...tht...must...be it.

a few minutes of slurping later...

Boss: haaaaaah...ey up lad, tht coffee tasted a bit funny...almost sorta...'ad a creamy texture to it...wht did yer put in it?
Plops: :innocent face: nowt, just coffee n milk n watter...
New Lass: mine were alrite...
Boss: go on, tell me...did u spit in it?...
Plops: NO!...
Boss: greff in it? (greff means snot)
Plops: erm...no...:look:...
Boss: *stare*
Plops: *avoids eye contact*
Boss: *catches on* OMG...tell me u didnt...? :what:
Plops: *sniffs*
Boss: B******d.