*walks towards podium*

*clear throat*

Thank you! Oh! Thank you! I can hardly conjugate verbs! I feel so blessed! And this statue - it's so heavy! Oh, thank you again! I just want everyone to know that even in my wildest AA meetings, I never would have imagined that this could ever happen to me. And to the other super-amazing nominees, I want each of you to know how totally wonderful your crushing defeat makes me feel right now!

You know when they first told me I was nominated, I just had to take a minute and think about how great my fans have been. I guess it all just makes me feel kinda special.

You know, there are so many back-stabbing stalkers to thank! First off though, I want to [edited] slap the self-congratulatory circle jerks of the Academy, who looked deep within their Magic 8-Balls before giving me this fantastic award! Also, I want to thank God, for being such a powerful force in my life. And to my brother, who taught me to take life by the day. And finally, to all the personal assistants I fired - I couldn't have done it without you!

Thank you America, and good night!

Oh wait. Urm ok, no, that was the wrong speech. *ahem* I seem to have misplaced my 'Admin Rights Acceptance speech'. But I'd just like to say THANK YOU to all who voted and repeat-voted for me, I love you. Tee hee hee.

Now, Jammie...Plops, move over and make space for Ameerah and let the abuse of admin rights begin.

Ma'asalaam